The Oracle

i'm a little bit frustrated with my sister in law. she leans on her mum so much that when anyone else needs her help, we rarely get it. granted she just had an op on her carpal tunnel (hand) so fair enough, she can't use it. does she get her own kids to help her out? no, she gets her mum to stay with her at her house (knowing full well that my mum in law has bad hips and knees) to 'help out'. she can get the fathers of her children to look after the kids, or her teenage daughter could help.
and this morning rhiannon managed to push our tv off of the cabinet onto her ankle, we got an ambulance to the hospital and after we finally got hold of edna she said she would pick me and wanny up from the hospital (we don't have a car). because it happened quite early, we got seen quickly, but had to wait over an hour and a half for edna because sandra still had her running around, even going to the pharmacy for her. so poor wanny had to wear my jacket while i froze my bits off because sandra couldn't be bothered to get her own pills. poor edna was run off her feet, and if we hadn;t been in such a rush with the ambulance, i would have taken my bag with my money in it and gotten a cab.
we rarely ask for ednas help, we never get to go out because even though edna likes to look after our kids, sandra always has her running around. she's in her mid thirties for flips sake!

ok, rant done.

Right now we are going thru a very tough time finanically. We are losing my husband's land that he had before marrying me, in danger of losing the land that was my great-aunt's, the car, and our house. I am just praying that we can hold on for awhile longer.

My vent has to do with everyone demanding something of me, and people being insensitive to my feelings and concerns. I am dealing with not just the money problems right now, but the life of one of our goats. He was injured on Tues night. He is unable to use his back legs at all. The vet has given us 4 injections to give him over the next few days. If he doesn't get better, he might have to be put down. There are some that feel that we should have already done that and not waste our time on a crippled goat. I have heard , "Guess we are having goat for dinner." more than once. I don't find it amusing at all. I am busting my butt to keep him alive and to help him recover enough that he has a good quaility of life. I don't know what to do right now except do what the vet said which is give him a week and then evaluate him again. Unfortuneatly money, time, and who can care for him while we are gone will be factors in whether or not he is put down. It pains me that they are even playing a role in the decision, but they have to be considered.

I can't describe how tired all this has made me. I never liked having to make decisions that have such importance. My decisions will affect what we lose to the bank and what we don't, and whether or not Blackie lives to see another day.

Ok I am finished venting.

hey guys, sorry i haven't replied earlier. sorry your going through a tough time. adarian, i know what its like to have spiteful family and its never easy especially when people keep telling you 'family is everything'.
lynx, i feel for your situation. i could never understand when people would be like that towards animals, seeing them as nothing but meat. i don't get why people can't see that we are animals just like them and they deserve to be cared for just like we would care for other so called humans.

and time for my own vent. bloomin money. we just got back in credit with our rent, after the housing association threatening us with eviction. but...during all that heavy snow turk slipped and damaged his knee ligaments on the ice at work and has been off for two weeks now and the doc says that after this next week (he was first signed off for one week, then two), it'd be a miracle if his knee was fit to go back to work. but we don't have a choice. his work have royally messed up his pay and only paid him £70 this week so we couldn't pay the rent. luckily we were £35 in credit with it and because we don't have to pay council tax this month i had to use £55 of the child benefit to make up the rent. and now after doing a tight shop i have to use £45/£50 of what i get a week both this week and next week to be able to pay next weeks rent. its a good job i never spend more than £50 on shopping, but because of this i've had to shop for 4 people on less than £40. its also a damn good job that my meds have yet again wiped out my appetite or we would be up the creek.
to add insult to injury, the child benefit money this month was meant to buy us a dining table so the kids wouldn't have to eat their dinner at a coffee table any more. i had that money earmarked months ago. everytime we get somewhere good with money, his work messes it up.
add that to the fact that i've been pretty ill myself the last few weeks after being hit really hard with the flu (+ asthma, not fun), and on friday cameron came down really hard and fast with stomach flu. he's spent the last three days either asleep (for those of you that know anything about my son, he's always running around like a loony whether he feels ill or not) or bringing up what little water or food (mostly water cos he won't touch food) straight back up.my husband and i have had to take shifts through the night to make sure he doesn't vomit in his sleep.
and today is my father in laws birthday, a traditional day for the hamper clan to crowd into one house and have a laugh. i managed to persuade turk to take wanny and go without us.

oh, and our tv and phone line are both broken. i'm just waiting for whatever comes next.

This vent has to do with how I feel cut off from my family and friends. We are going thru alot of bad things finanacially right now and people don't want to hear about that. They only want to hear about the good things which are few and far between right now. All this stress is making it where I don't want to talk to people or do anything. I feel like I am drowning in all the bad right now. When people ask me what is going on, they want the topical answer "I am fine. How are you?" What they don't want to hear is "we are losing the land my husband had before we got married, in danger of losing our house, and my car." They also don't want to hear about the death of my injuried goat.

I know this is a whinny vent.

whine away hun. it does no good stuck inside.

Well the car is in hiding until I can catch it up. I am hoping all this will get better very soon.

well right now i am very close to the end of my tether. the side effects from my medication are getting so bad i don't know how much longer i can take it. ive always had some uncomfortable side effects but knowing i need to be on the meds, i just sucked it up. but now i'm in agony every day. i'm not sure my endo will take any notice seeing as the last three apps with them have been three different docs and the last just wanted me in and out and didnt listen to anything i said.
the pain is getting so bad now that every couple of days turk wonders if i have appendicitis. i really don't know how much longer i can take it.

sorry, double post

I can understand how you feel. I went thru the rotating drs when I messed up my back. I had thoughts of ending it all and would have if it hadn't been for my husband. I don't know about the health care there, but here I ended up finding a dr who listened to me. He was the one who figured out I had a bulging disc and gave me the right medicine.

Hang in there dear. I will ask Eir to watch over you.